Transformation Through Affirmations
Self-Mastery Exercise: Designing Affirmations
By Sharmai Amber with Keith Amber
Excerpt taken from Steps to Enlightenment ©
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This powerful combination can move mountains. Imagine for a moment that you have a pattern you are dissatisfied with. For instance, say you have a tendency to get angry and explode when things don’t go your way. You know it is your ego out of control, and every time you explode you get angry with yourself for being such a jerk. Now imagine using micro-mindfulness, combined with living in the question to work your way out of this behavior. You develop your ability to not speak until you know what you are going to say and how you are going to say it. Then, you choose if you want to say it. When you get this habit established, you begin to use it as a tool for personal transformation.
You decide it is time to stop your pattern of exploding, which is generally destructive. You take a few days to rally your willpower getting all of its focus and strength behind your decision. If there was ever a proper use of willpower, besides for use in survival, self-transformation is it. Once your willpower is at full throttle, you are ready. Now, using micro-mindfulness, you catch your anger building in intensity preparing to explode. You force yourself to stop. Now, living in the question, you wonder, “Do I really want to explode?” The answer is likely to be yes and no. Yes, because your righteous side feels justified in your anger. No, because you ALWAYS feel worse after you are done exploding. Now you must choose. Now your willpower comes in. Now your light side says, “No, we are NOT going to indulge in exploding. We are going to choose to behave in a more enlightened manner.” The battle is on and you must use your weapon of willpower to fight. YOU MUST CHOOSE. You choose a new way to behave. Your weapons of micro-mindfulness (acute awareness), coupled with living in the question (is this a wise direction to go?), coupled with your willpower (override ego based choices to choose a more enlightened behavior) empower your transformation. As you use this formula, and continue working on yourself daily, you reduce or remove the need for catastrophes to befall your life. This is being spiritually pro-active rather than reactive and is the core of a true spiritual lifestyle.
Life Changing Affirmations
Once you get your acute inner awareness sharpened, and see the areas you want to change, affirmations are a potent way to go about effecting the desired change before you find yourself acting out the unwanted behavior. These affirmations are not the bring-me-the-winning-lottery-ticket-or-relationship kind of affirmations. These affirmations go to the core of your self and your soul to change the behavior, patterns, and core beliefs that are actually dysfunctional and inherently inferior.
Let’s design some affirmations using the example of exploding. Effective affirmations, when said aloud, cause an uncomfortable feeling in the solar plexus, or are irritating because they go against your current truth or reality. The point with affirmations is to change your truth at your core. So essentially, you are reeducating your current reality or truth to become something more enlightened. Affirmations, to be effective, should be said aloud three times each, and they should be said five to eight times per day, until when you read them aloud there is no negative reaction in your solar plexus and they don’t irritate you. When you find the “punch” getting less, shift to more powerful affirmations until you feel the punch again. Then keep working the new set until the punch and irritation are gone. Through this process, you walk your way out of unwanted habits or patterns. This process can also be used for transforming addictions and desires.
Once you get your acute inner awareness sharpened, and see the areas you want to change, affirmations are a potent way to go about effecting the desired change.
Here is a set of progressively more direct and potent affirmations, with a focus on the pattern of exploding:
- I am no longer exploding in anger
- I am peaceful
- I am not always right
- I am releasing anger
- I am choosing to melt my anger
- Anger is a choice
- I am no longer stuck in anger
- Anger is my dark side dominating others
- I release my need to be in control
- I am no longer desiring to control others
- I am no longer throwing fits to control those around me
- I release my righteousness (the belief that your way is right and superior to all others around, and you discount other’s merits, rights, or background as inherently inferior to your own)
- I am choosing to stop bullying others with my anger
- I am humble and open to other’s points of view
- I am broadening my perspective to include others views
- I am yielding to my (spouse, co-worker, whoever most often enrages you)
- I am including unconditional love with anger
- I am choosing enlightenment
- I am gracious
- I am kind
- I am living in the flow
- I am mature
- I am working on my weaknesses, anger is a weakness
- I am unconditional love
- I am loved
- I am whole
- I am love. I am all. I am one. I am God within.
Affirmations work because to manifest transformation, we must go from thought, to decision, to declaration (affirmation), to changing behavior, to transformation. Affirmations are a natural part of the process.
Whenever possible, it is useful to begin affirmations with “I am,” as it is a very powerful statement of declaration. You are declaring a state of being. And, in the case of affirmations, you are declaring a new state of being, truth, or reality within. These affirmations pierce into your higher self, transforming him or her as well.
As you can see with these affirmations, there are only about four or five points of view presented, but they are said in a wide variety of ways. The point is that you need to find what works best for you, and it should represent the opposite perspective from your pattern. Find the opposite twist that is a direct hit for you. For instance, use “I am releasing my anger” until it looses its punch, then, “I release my righteousness” might be the next step, or, “I am choosing to stop bullying others around with my anger.” Affirmations that are done progressively will transform patterns permanently. They are extremely effective transformational tools.
Self-Mastery Exercise: Designing Affirmations
Core transforming affirmations should state the opposite behavior. You are reeducating a core pattern. Extremes are useful to get the pattern dislodged from its righteous stand. The most potent affirmations are the ones that leave your solar plexus feeling like someone just punched you. As you repeat the affirmations three times each round, with five to eight rounds per day, the punch begins to ease. Keep turning up the heat on the affirmation till the pattern is gone for good. Thoughts of behaving that way don’t even surface anymore. Here are some examples of stuck patterns and some potent affirmations to help you transform your core truths:
- Bigotry to homosexuals (pick one you are close to: I am seeing the beauty in (use their name)
- Need to be on a pedestal: I am a humble servant of God serving behind the scenes
- Know-it-all: I know nothing
- Religious arrogance: There are many paths back to God
- Overly Stubborn: I am flowing, fluid, and open to wisdom and options
- Fastidious: I am no longer anal
- Addicted: I am free of (whatever substance). I no longer want (whatever substance)
- Lazy: I am active wherever life needs me in the moment
- Selfish: I am happy to serve others first
- Vain: I find more value inside. I am no longer dressing to enhance my looks. I am seeking depth
- Greedy: I am donating my time and money to serve others
- Dominating: I am surrendering to the wisdom and power in others
- Judgmental: I use judgment only on myself. I release all judgments. I do not know right action for every person.
- Hateful: I see the beauty in everyone and everything in God’s creation
- Victim: I now see and face the lessons from this problem of mine
- Ungrounded: I choose to come all the way to earth and deal with my lessons and life
- Addicted to being high: I am grounded in all matters and at all moments. I accept life’s natural ups and downs. I accept life’s inconveniences, discomforts, and confusions. I am responsible. I am mature.
- Cruel: I am kind to every living thing
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Remember to keep turning up the heat with your affirmations until when you read them you feel a punch in your solar plexus and irritability. Then you know you are directly transforming both you and your higher self’s core.